I was chatting with a close friend in late October and she was saying she had a strong feeling to express what changed in her this year for the end-of-year reflections. She was quite enclosed before I got close to her this year, so this year she has a temptation to share her change.
That stroke me — so many things happened this year that moved me as a person too — and gearing towards the end of my 20s I feel there’s a difference, it’s really a time to think about what we want to do for the rest of our lives.
Learnings through the year:
Sometimes, I feel that breakthroughs do come randomly, and the timing is like destiny. This year I took a business course called Be Positive, and it’s like a program geared towards people who want to improve their business mindsets and motivations. Albeit I wasn’t too well-involved in the course, but it taught me a few lessons that I would remember for a lifetime.
1. Be Positive
The first was the word 「極致 」 which is almost defined as an extremity, and 「企圖心」 meaning the lengths you will go to reach your mission, going to that maximum level of extremity. From this, I learned that ‘one can succeed in anything once he/she puts their mind to it’.
The second phrase I learned was 一期一會. The instructor described it as a ‘once in your life opportunity’. For example, the relatives' gatherings we have annually; we don’t get that many chances to see the exact same combination. Another imagery, it’s as if you see an invisible number on the forehead of the person you’re with, and every other time you see him/her again, the number decreases. We’re never sure of the “last time”. The ultimate meaning is: everything happens only once at a time in our lives; we don’t have that many chances to do the same thing. You are only at one point, one place, with same people in the same point of time; making choices to be there, make something out of every moment.
The third category I’ve learned and still have a strong interest is, the study of personalities:
- Personality sectors: DiSC, MBTI, Enneagram, Motive Luxx Profiling;
- Fate sectors: Human Design, Chinese Horoscope (八字命盤).
Especially learning about all these personality analysis methods, I love to observe others and see which types of personalities they are. For example, I found my Enneagram number is a 7, winging to the 6, which means in general I have high-energy, and am fueled by anything driving towards my definition of ‘happiness’, and that is ultimately key, and how I avoid ‘pain’, which for me is managing conflicts. When I am in my avoidance of pain, I might shift to a 9 because I want to lay low to avoid the conflict…which virtually never helps. But understanding how I feel towards the situation had allowed me to better control my emotions.
The point of these personality analyses is to acknowledge no one is perfect. It’s not that if you don’t have the qualities that you desire, you should feel bad about yourself. Instead, it’s very important to acknowledge each of our strengths and weaknesses to society, and face it together.
Human Design Asia made me realize what I am lacking — my voicebox to communicate my thoughts, that’s why I feel I feel so many emotions inside but can’t find a way to express it. That’s why I write it out word-by-word.
For the Find-Your-Motive Luxx Profile tests — I finally understand where my motivations come from. We are what we each are, and have our own values, it’s not up to anyone to judge that.
We are what we are, to and we have our own values. We are continuously learning to appreciate who we are, and not feel for others because of what we might lack. By learning to appreciate our own strengths, and the feeling of happiness to do what you are having a passion for.
2. Sometimes, an encounter may trigger a turning point in your life.
It’s sometimes fascinating you meet people you get close with so unexpectedly in your heart.
Sometimes, just one person you meet will change everything. The person who steals words from your mouth — says your sentence before you completely articulate out of the mind.
To put in imagery, it’s like throughout life, we are going through a foggy forest; sometimes picking up random objects (like experiences, skills) along the way, but can’t see through the fog. I like the feeling of alignment in life; finding a person to go through the fog, but having a clear light to go through the path.
At the same time, this intersection in life may cause you to make bigger choices. We have so many paths we can take, but which one will you go for? For each decision you will make, there is something that you have to let go in order to get there.
3. The period of growth
The interesting point of this is the growth out of the “neediness” to go socializing.
For example, saying no to Halloween parties in LKF, and gatherings, rather having a quiet night in, with books and a light solo jog.
Another example is saying no to tasks such as those in business societies; knowing which tasks aren’t contributing to your mission, learning to differentiate which does good for you, which only drags your energy.
A last and more important one is, saying no to emotions that others point across you, for example emotional blackmail. The unhealthiness of making certain decisions because of what others put expectations towards you — ultimately it’s about what you value yourself.
Sometimes, in the modern world, the traditional sense of ‘filial piety’ may have variations between generations. (Can explore this topic in another article later on.) However, your own values are the most important — nothing can be worth more than that.
Another sense of Growth is when you start to choose your friends and circles. Each time we are spending with them, we are giving them a bit of our precious life. They are choosing to spend that with you, and you are also choosing to spend that with them. Do you like the energy they emit? Do you feel the emotions you have when you’re with them — is it positive, neutral, or negative? The people closest to you should be inspiring you to be a better you. Sometimes, we have old friends that aren’t of the same type, we have to accept they are not the same as you. Everyone has their own paths, we can try to influence them if they were open-minded in the first place to do so — otherwise, all the cleaners, cashiers, and truck drivers would all be gone. Everyone has a role in society, there is no choice but to accept they are different, and that they are right in the place where they are.
Another growth this year is the crazy growth of the technological world — the development of generative AI that can help humans write content, create designs, write blogs, etc. I love to work in this space, always being curious like I am naturally, learning new things, for this is a never-ending journey!
Despite all the growth in the field, I still feel having to type each letter finger by finger, letter by letter, word by word, the message will get through from human to human.
If I were to summarize my year (so far) in a sentence:
Change happens, we have to accept that — make the choices we need and move on, to better chances✨
In the next year, let’s move onto new journeys, and make the most out of our lives. There’s no time to wait.
Thank you for reading my thoughts — and hope we finish off 2022 with a blast to greet the great 2023 of opportunities!