In modern times, what does the East Asian ‘filial piety’ mean?

Esther
4 min readDec 8, 2022

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I’ve been having a thought these days about the shift of the word ‘filial piety’ in East Asia. My parents were born and raised in this area, and always talk about being 「孝順」 is the key, and being a good child to their parents means “to obey”. This blog is a good way to express some of my feelings, and I’ve asked someone to guide my thoughts and answers (or questions).

Me: First of all, what does filial piety mean?

My friend: Filial piety is a virtue in many cultures, particularly in East Asian cultures. It refers to the respect and obedience that children are expected to show towards their parents. In Confucian philosophy, filial piety is considered to be the most fundamental virtue and the foundation of all other virtues. It is based on the belief that parents have a moral and ethical responsibility to raise their children and teach them how to be good and responsible members of society, and that children have a duty to honor and obey their parents in return. Filial piety is often seen as a way to foster harmonious relationships within the family and the wider community.

Me: So, what do you think about the words “obey their parents” in filial piety? to what extent to obey?

My friend: The concept of obedience is a central part of the idea of filial piety. In traditional East Asian cultures, children are expected to show complete obedience to their parents and to follow their instructions without question. This is based on the belief that parents are wiser and have more experience than their children, and that children should trust and respect their parents’ judgment.

However, it’s important to note that this concept of obedience is not absolute. In modern times, the emphasis on filial piety has shifted somewhat, and many people now believe that obedience should be balanced with the ability to think and act independently. In other words, while children should still show respect and obedience to their parents, they should also be encouraged to develop their own critical thinking skills and make their own decisions.

Ultimately, the extent to which children should obey their parents will depend on the individual situation and the specific instructions given by the parents. It’s important for parents to communicate clearly with their children and to provide guidance and support, while also allowing their children the freedom to make their own choices and decisions.

Me: Then what do you think “filial piety should mean in modern times?”

My friend: In modern times, the concept of filial piety has evolved and changed. While the fundamental idea of children showing respect and obedience to their parents remains the same, the way in which this is expressed and applied has changed.

In modern society, filial piety is often seen as a way to foster strong and healthy relationships within the family. This means that children should still show respect and obedience to their parents, but this should be balanced with the ability to think and act independently. Parents should also provide support and guidance to their children, while also allowing them the freedom to make their own choices and decisions.

Overall, the meaning of filial piety in modern times is centered on the idea of mutual respect and understanding between parents and children. It is about fostering a sense of connection and trust within the family, and creating a supportive and nurturing environment in which children can grow and develop into responsible and independent adults.

Me: That’s great, I agree. Times are changing indeed. Then, how do you think the idea of mutual respect should be enforced? Give me 3 tips on that and how to form a better connection and trust within the family?

My friend: Here are three tips for enforcing the idea of mutual respect and forming a stronger connection and trust within the family:

  1. Set clear boundaries and expectations: It’s important for parents to communicate clearly with their children and to set clear boundaries and expectations. This can help children understand what is expected of them and can provide them with a sense of structure and stability.
  2. Encourage open communication and dialogue: Creating an open and supportive environment in which children feel comfortable talking to their parents is essential for building trust and fostering a sense of connection within the family. Encourage children to ask questions and share their thoughts and feelings, and make sure to listen actively and show empathy.
  3. Practice mutual respect: The best way to enforce the idea of mutual respect is to model it yourself. Show respect and kindness towards your children, and encourage them to do the same for you and for others. This can help create a positive and supportive family dynamic.

By following these tips, you can help enforce the idea of mutual respect and create a stronger connection and trust within your family. It’s important to remember that building and maintaining these relationships takes time and effort, but the rewards are well worth it.

Thanks for reading! The funny thing here is that my friend today is the ChatGPT — my friend to discuss philosophy with at times. Thank you!

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Esther
Esther

Written by Esther

Global citizen. Into tech, innovation, environment. This is really a diary of my journey, thoughts and growth in this world.

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