In the past few years, I feel that every year there had been many changes — I’ve accidentally started a habit of making an annual personal recap in a blog post. I think it’s the best way to retrospect on the year, and plan for a good year forward.
This year especially because I’ve dived into the world of product management, we have this kind of template that we use in our Sprint Retros and this means the whole team comes together and brainstorms items in 3 columns: 1) Went Well; 2) To Improve; 3) Action Items. I thought I’d go about that, but in a more casual one on themes that came up this year, but conjoined with various categories in life such as: work/career, relationship, family, friendship, self-care — and ultimately, how about looping all those, in bigger themes of the year. Just to apologise in advance that my writing style today is stream-of-consciousness — going with the flow of my mind, just because, well, why not?
But before that, let’s retrospect in chronological order by month.
January: New year, new start. I knew this year was going to be very different, I’ve had my best times in my home country packed with activities of all sorts — yet a big hunch that many things were going to change. 🌟
February: Opportunity cost. With new things coming, some options must be foregone. The moment to prepare for departure from one place, many emotions will override, but I always believe God and destiny brings us to the places we most need to be. 🛫
March: Exploration. It takes effort and courage to leave a place you know so well, to a place you don’t know at all. Instead of pondering about what to do, I think as humans, it’s only right we explore when we can, don’t miss any chance to do so. Widen your perspectives. 👀
April: Family visits. The first time in so long family visits, you’d always make the most out of everything to show them of best of what you can see. It’s these moments where you’d think it’s a once-in-a-lifetime, these memories are always to be cherished. Going on holiday together with loved ones is also a fascinating test to whether or not you can live together in the future!
May: With good, also comes bad. Families are always in the best health, always remember we can’t take good health for granted. As we all grow older, our previous generation also grows older, less and less able to fend for themselves. If they don’t need much financial support — it’s more the emotional part above anything.
June: Go on a sabbatical, see the world. It’s always a good time to think things through. What do we want in life? As we go through our 30s — we are old enough to know more of what we want, and our values are more intact than as a teenager. But what do we want? It’s this moment it’s not too late to change, but you’ve gone this moment only, make YOLO choices.
July: Diving into another culture. After all those months abroad, yet I feel that the only way to actually dive into another culture is via working. Starting a new job, is challenging, at the same time I’ve been very lucky to get to this new chapter. Embrace it. My line manager said “I didn’t hire you to fill particular duties in a role” and wants to help me grow in my career. I feel empowered to do better, and this is my motivation.
August: Flat-hunting. It’s an neverending journey, especially in the summer where lots of people are looking for new places to live too — this world indeed is a cut-throat place where homeowners only look at CVs and backgrounds and price uplift to decide who could rent. The demand & supply is real — and we are in the capitalistic world.
September: After one challenge, it’s another. The joy of renting a new home then becomes the hassle of moving in. New furniture, new decorations. How do you want your ideal home to be? For me, there’s a fine balance between minimalistic to functional — everything you’d need, clothes (the timeless pieces), minimum furniture (just in case you’d like to move again).
October: New businesses, new opportunities. Once you’ve gotten a new home — it’s always a time to build your community and circle of friends. In a larger city, I realised it’s actually less easy to build a closer knit of circle of friends — in your hometown you always have the university or schoolmates, but building it up from 0 to 1 is a huge step. Activities, and finding that people want opportunities. Then why not build a community doing just that?
November: Home alone for a month. I’ve never in my life lived by myself in 30 years. Actually this month was my biggest growth. I get to know myself more. I am an extrovert, but I could enjoy spending time alone. All the habits you wanted to build, there’s no one to stop you. I’ve ran a lot this month, it calms me; I’ve made new friends; I’ve held house parties; I’ve been more dedicated to a particular sport; found more time to dive into my educational interests. With family or a partner by my side, I might’ve gone to do something else. But most importantly do what you love, because you are the person you spend the most time with.
December: Home is same same but different. I’ve gone back to Square 1 physically as in I’m back to hometown, but it’s not the same mentally and emotionally. After going out to see what’s out there, I feel that home is the same, feeling-wise I know more of the environment that cheers me up. Home is my ultimate comfort zone, I don’t need to strive for anything yet I live comfortably. Is this where a person grows? Maybe not so much. The friends and family is always the pulling factor though. What’s the balance, it’s really hard to tell, and even more impossible to make a decision of where to be.
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With my chronological timeline above, here’s my biggest theme to recap.
Adaptability.
I’ve seen this word out of a book I’ve bought from Cambridge when I went there, it’s called “The Gift of Aging” by Marcy Cottrell Houle and Elizabeth Eckstrom, who writes the book based on stories of elders they have met and changed their lives. Inside the book there’s a passage from a 90-year-old lady who looks 10 years younger, sharing the wisdom of aging well:
We all desire to direct our own lives, even when you’re 90. But to do that, it’s all about ‘adaptability’. The importance of being open to revising what we think is life’s course. There are times in life when we have little choice, but the ability to adapt changing circumstances is what will allow for triumpth in life. Your mindset will ultimately determine whether you view your life as one of despair or of gratitude.” — Lilly Cohen.
I personally think this is the motto to summarise my year. No matter at what age we are at, this thoughtful passage to me really means no matter wherever we are, with whom, what we are doing, our life is always at a cross-section and of course we want to plan ahead to know exactly what will happen is as we wish. It doesn’t always (and in fact never) goes as planned. Why not keep our muscles flexible, especially our decision flexors, adapt to our environment. I’m always very sure of the thought that God has set us to go through challenges he knows we can face. When people are struggling, whether it’s mental health, or anxiety about certain things, just trust in The Person who put us in this road, we can achieve what we can.
Move things, step-by-step. Retrospect on what we could improve (not what went wrong, because those are things we can’t change). Be a better version of ourselves, we are growing in our own right. Things will be well.
Wishing everyone a happy 2024! 🌟
P.S. Stay tuned to my other posts at the end of the year about:
- Technological trends 🤖 as a person working in the technological innovation field;
- Movies and things I’ve seen that brought me to conclude that my spirit animal is a penguin 🐧;
- Agile-style Went well / To improve / Action items retrospective to prepare for a good 2024.
(Writing this down so I keep accountable!)